


willow

by zoinkstothemax



Series: this pain wouldn't be for evermore [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Canon Compliant, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, References to Depression, brief mention of 3x06, it's a lot softer than the tags make it seem I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28500060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoinkstothemax/pseuds/zoinkstothemax
Summary: They’re lazing in bed, the late morning light coming through their fucked up blinds and painting the room in a soft glow. The house is quiet, the usual chaos already dispersed for the day, and Ian’s staring at his husband so hard he’s pretty sure Mickey can feel it from where he’s fucking around on his phone. Ian’s been doing that a lot lately, just looking at Mickey. Trying really hard to ground himself in the moment, or whatever the fuck the therapist at the clinic told him to do when he gets overwhelmed.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: this pain wouldn't be for evermore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087658
Comments: 9
Kudos: 155





	willow

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! This is part one of a series inspired by Taylor Swift's album evermore! Each work will be inspired by a lyric from a song - every song will get a fic, they'll all be canon-compliant but taking place in different places in Ian and Mickey's relationship. This first one for willow takes place between seasons 10 and 11, but there's no mention of quarantine so really it can fit any time after the wedding.

_Show me the places where the others gave you scars_

* * *

They’re lazing in bed, the late morning light coming through their fucked up blinds and painting the room in a soft glow. The house is quiet, the usual chaos already dispersed for the day, and Ian’s staring at his husband so hard he’s pretty sure Mickey can feel it from where he’s fucking around on his phone. Ian’s been doing that a lot lately, just looking at Mickey. Trying really hard to _ground himself in the moment_ , or whatever the fuck the therapist at the clinic told him to do when he gets overwhelmed. 

He hit a low last week. It wasn’t anything major, just a few slow, shitty days, but it was enough to make Mickey look at him with those loud, worried eyes and therefore enough to make Ian feel like a burden. Enough to take a trip to the clinic, where they told him exactly what they’ve _been_ telling him for the last six years: monitor your moods, utilize your support system, come back if it gets debilitating. Mickey’d held his hand tightly and taken fucking _notes_ in his phone, and now he’s lying in bed with him much later into the day than he normally would, and Ian can’t stop staring at his husband. 

He rakes his eyes over Mickey’s half-sat up form: furrowed brows, one hand holding a smoke up to his lips as the other types away rapidly, left leg bouncing to the beat of the music playing quietly from the ancient CD player on the dresser. His arms and chest are practically bursting out of his ratty old blue tank top, and Ian really fucking wishes we wasn’t so exhaused so they could take advantage of the empty house, but, well. No such luck. 

Ian’s gaze falls to the small curved scar on Mickey’s right bicep, and before he can stop himself he reaches out to trace over it. Mickey flinches, his eyes flickering down to Ian’s gentle hand on his arm, and he raises his eyebrows. “Jesus, can I help you? Thought you went back to sleep,” he mutters, putting down his phone and smoke and shifting to lay on his back, turning his head to look at Ian.

“What’s this from?” Ian asks, continuing to trace the small white mark. He might’ve heard some story before, but his brain is foggy and he wants to hear his husband’s voice. 

Mickey looks down at his own arm and furrows his brows once again, obviously caught off guard by the question. “Fuck if I know, man. Me being a dumbass, probably?”

Ian hums, and they fall back into a comfortable quiet for a moment. Ian continues to study his husband until he finds another mark, this one bigger, on his shoulder, still the tiniest bit redder than the paleness surrounding it. “This one?” he asks, smoothing over it with his thumb and feeling the raised skin.

“Get your fuckin paws off me, bitch,” Mickey complains as he swats at Ian’s hand.

“Mm, I’d rather not,” Ian feels the ghost of a smile start to creep up as he cuddles even closer to Mickey, tightening his grip on his shoulder and nestling into his warmth. 

“Why the fuck are we doin this right now?” Mickey asks in obviously feigned exasperation - even as he’s saying it, he’s bringing his left hand up to Ian’s hair, fondly carding his hands through the overgrown strands.

“Cause I wanna know! C’mon, humor me. It looks like it hurt.”

“Fucking obviously it hurt, Ian,” he says, blue eyes rolling. “Pretty sure that one’s from juvie.”

Ian smirks, blurry memories of a spikey-haired teenage Mickey flooding his brain. “What’d you do?”

Mickey swats the back of Ian’s head. “Fuck you, I didn’t do shit. Motherfuckers always getting on my goddamn case, don’t know how to mind their business. You know all about that, huh? Nosy motherfucker,” He raises his eyebrows and smirks down at Ian, scritching his nails against his scalp gently.

Ian’s smile widens. “Yeah, I’m sure you were a perfect little inmate. Sounds just like you.”

“Damn right I was, bitch.” They’re both laughing, and Ian just loves him so much. He rolls half on top of him, bringing a hand up to trace over his widening smile and crinkling eyes. He leans down to kiss him gently, so gently, once, then twice, and as he pulls back his eyes land on yet another scar. This one tiny, just a thin raised line right up near his hairline, and Ian can’t help but run his index finger over it. “What about this one?”

Mickey’s smile dims. He searches Ian’s face, looking like he’s debating whether to answer. Ian raises his brows, pulls back a little, feels Mickey’s hand tighten on his side. There’s a beat. And then - 

“You were there for that one, man. With Terry.”

Oh.

That’s a pistol-whip scar.

Shit.

Ian pulls his hand away from the mark, smooths it down Mickey’s neck instead, letting it rest on the tattoo over his chest. “Oh. Right.” 

“Yeah.” Mickey clears his throat, and, for his part, he doesn’t seem too upset - he’s still holding Ian close, he’s still running his nose back and forth on Ian’s temple gently. They could probably both use some time at the clinic to work through _that_ particular experience, but for the time being, it’s just an uncomfortable moment, a readjustment they both make. 

Ian inhales deeply, holds it for a moment, feels the cool weight of his wedding ring, releases his breath shakily. Tries to _ground himself in the moment_. Repeats a few times until he feels like he won’t break when he says, “Sorry, Mick.”

“It’s okay,” Mickey says easily. He presses a lingering kiss to the top of his head, and Ian wants to cry. Shit, he’s so fucking tired. And it’s like Mickey can hear his thoughts, because he murmurs a quiet, “Go back to sleep, yeah?” 

Ian nods. Snuggles even deeper into Mickey’s neck. He thinks he maybe breathes out a “love you,” and he definitely hears one back.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I am very excited about this series, and have lots of plans for the remaining songs - but please feel free to leave suggestions/ideas in the comments if you are so inclined! willow is......not my favorite on the album lol but it was a fun challenge and I'm really looking forward to working on these - like I mentioned, each work will be inspired by a specific lyric, not necessarily the song as a whole, and it's a really fun exercise I totally recommend! 
> 
> I don't currently have an update schedule in mind - life is crazy so I'm going to write when I want to and update when I feel like it! But I am absolutely going to finish the whole album, my scorpio ass cannot leave anything unfinished so don't u worry about THAT!


End file.
